Remembering a friend

Today my mind travels back almost three years to a time when writing a poem as a group helped heal the broken hearts of a group of fourth graders and their teacher.

It was at just about this time in the school year that my dear colleague, Mrs. Lois Koss, took ill. One day she was doing her thing, going into classrooms and sharing her reading magic. And then, suddenly, she wasn’t there any longer, too ill to come back to us.

Lois was a reading specialist, and her work was truly special. She spent an hour every day in my room, working magic with her group of struggling readers. All the kids knew her and loved her. She loved them right back! When she walked in, her presence filled the room up. She was a quiet, calming force, but a good joke or some fourth grade antic would cause her to laugh so. Her laugh warmed us all.

At first, we thought Lois would be out a few days; then it looked like it might be longer. Everyone thought that for certain she’d be back. We waited, and so did the kids. Every day they looked for her return, thinking about things they’d like to ask her, ready with books they’d like to share with her. Soon enough, however, the faculty and staff learned that Lois would not be coming back, and worse still, she was terminally ill. How would we ever tell the children?

I began prepping the children for what was to come by working on a writing project with them. I asked them to write one line that described Mrs. Koss. Most students wrote quite a few, then decided which one was the very best. At this point, they had not been told that she would not be back, but I did tell them the poem was for her. That was enough for them. They drew pictures and made cards that she would never see.

We wrote the lines out on sentences strips. I arranged them into an order that flowed well. Once all the strips were attached to a six foot length of yellow roll paper, we titled the poem “Mrs. Koss” and decorated all around the edges. We hung it on the wall and went on with our days.

Finally, the awful day came when Lois really left us all for good. Compounding our sorrow was the knowledge that on Monday morning, the first task of the day would be to tell the children. The days were a blur. No one’s heart was really in their work.

The day following the funeral, I knew it was time for closure. I had typed the poem out for the students to each have a copy. It seemed like a natural part of the healing process to visit the poem one last time. We stood in a circle, and thought of Lois. Then I read the title. The students followed, each reading the line they had written. It was quiet, and it was respectful. It was a love-filled moment. It was our way of saying good bye.

            Some of the lines in the poem would have made Lois laugh:  “Mrs. Koss is fun and quirky, like beef jerky.”  Yes, she absolutely was, and that would have been her favorite line!

           Other lines would have humbled her with the tenderness they revealed.  “Mrs. Koss is as bright as the sun.”  Yes, she was. Out of the mouths of babes.

No one who knew her will ever forget her, but Lois lives on in the words of my little friends and the memories she made with us all. Those words helped us all heal.  

(Look for the complete poem in the Young Authors section.)