Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Let Them Help You Revise…


It’s scary to put your written work on the line, or more correctly, up on the electronic whiteboard. Making your words public is one of the bravest things I can imagine anyone doing. When you write, and let others read your writing, you lay your soul bare for the criticism of others, good or bad. Even if your audience is a room full of 10-year-olds, it can be scary.

Few teachers feel confident enough to routinely put their work in front of students or ask others to read our work and pass judgment on that work. Authors often find the editing process in publishing (which is really revision) the most painful part of the process. You have to let someone in, and let them pick at your words, and make suggestions, which is like letting them take a crack at your soul.

In the classroom, I like to write a piece with the kids sitting right there watching. Whatever type of writing we do, it’s helpful for the kids to watch me struggle with it. They often make suggestions if I get “stuck” for a word. We have that relationship. If I ask them to let me help them with their writing, I’d better be ready to reciprocate – seek their help. When I go back and revise – or re-see – my work, I always choose a particular lens to “see” it through. I take numerous opportunities to revise a piece. The more important the piece is, the more time I spend revising it.

We are working on friendly letters this week, writing to someone at our school. The letter I modeled for students is a letter to my boss, the principal.

I thought I had done a pretty decent job with the writing, until the students and I sat down to take a look. I read it aloud, and just to give them a hint of where I was going, I began emphasizing the each place where I began a sentence with the word “I.” In my best dramatic voice, I said to them: “I, I, I …Gosh it looks like this letter is all about ME, doesn’t it? Friends, help me fix this and make it better” I pointed out the sentences, then I asked the kids to help me. Well! Ask and you shall receive!

They read over the sentences thoughtfully and began to offer me many great suggestions. Changes were made, many changes, actually. The need product was a much better letter. That’s the whole point of the exercise. Once they see that my own work could be made better, they are much more willing to go back and work on their own. Truly, if they see that I seriously take my own advice and do the actual work of revision, it legitimizes the task for them. The end result is much, much higher quality final copies.

Here are my first and final drafts. All changes were directed by my students….


First draft

                                                              April 23, 2012

Mrs. Makowski
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Mrs. Makowski;

            I hope this letter finds you well. I have been wanting to write to you for a long
time. I'd like to let you know some things about Pinehurst that are fabulous.

            Something that is really great about Pinehurst is that the students are great
readers. They work very hard to choose good books, and they spend a lot of time reading
independently. Sentz-sational!

            Another thing I really like about Pinehurst is that the teachers are very friendly
and helpful. They have made me feel so welcome this year. I have made many new friends
since I arrived in September.

            I want you to know that you are an excellent principal. I like the assemblies and
activities you plan for the students. You do a great job helping the students learn and
keeping students safe. It is a pleasure to come to work. It doesn't seem like work at all.
It's fun to teach at Pinehurst!

            I think Pinehurst is a great place for students and teachers. These are just some
of the reasons I am glad to be a Pinehurst teacher. 

Sincerely,
Mrs. Sentz


Second draft:
                                                              April 23, 2012

Mrs. Makowski
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Mrs. Makowski;

            I hope this letter finds you well. I have wanted to write to you for a long
time. I'd like to let you know some things about Pinehurst that are fabulous.

            Something that is really spectacular about Pinehurst is that the students are great
readers. They work very hard to choose good books, and they spend a lot of time reading
independently. Sentz-sational!

            Another thing that is really splendid about Pinehurst is that the staff and students
are very friendly and helpful. They have made me feel so welcome this year. They have
made me feel very comfortable since I arrived in September.

            Did you know that you are an excellent principal? We all enjoy the assemblies
and activities you plan for the students. You do a great job helping the students learn and
keeping students safe. It is a pleasure to come to work. It doesn't seem like work at all. It's
fun to teach at Pinehurst!

            As you can see, I think Pinehurst is an extraordinary place for students and
teachers. These are just some of the reasons I am glad to be a Pinehurst teacher. It's a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Your friend,
Mrs. Sentz

P.S. The Sentz-sational students in Room 110 helped with the revision of this letter.
They are Sentz-sational Smarties!

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